|Last Saturday it was Coalescaremonium!
||[Apr. 13th, 2017|11:17 am]
|[||Tags|||||anxiety, cinquantenaire, coalescaremonium, events, fashion, food, goth, gothic, jfashion, mental illness, museum, ootd, outfit, steampunk, steampunk fashion||]|
|||||Cinquantenaire Museum + Coalescaremonium: Etterbeek, Belgium ||]|
|||||Thomas Dutronc "J'aime plus Paris"||]|
Ok, first let me start out by saying I am going to be brutally honest in this post. I hope this doesn’t upset anyone, but considering the drama that was happening the week before the event, I feel I won’t have so much luck.
I won’t go into the drama, just let me say that after actually trying to talk to the first 2 people, I started literally replying with the link to this post to the other 4.
It may seem like I took the drama in my stride, but in reality, it really kicked off my social anxiety, meaning that once I set foot in Bouche à Oreille, my anxiety was soaring and well, I felt ill at ease for most of the event.
How I felt had nothing to do with the people there, because everyone I spoke to was absolutely lovely and friendly and the atmosphere was great. It was super well organised and I honest to god cannot fault Coalescaremonium as an event on the day itself. So I really hope that no one will think I am blaming the organisation for my mental fail on the day, because I am not doing that at all. The fact is that anxiety is a highly illogical disorder, and your surroundings can be 100% safe, warm and friendly (which Coalescaremonium was) and you can still suffer an anxiety attack at the same time.
I feel that on my blog, I should be able to be 100% honest, and I’m done with being silent about my anxiety issues. It’s because people with mental problems remaining silent (often because they are made to feel that they should by others) that the stigma and misconceptions stick around, and we need to be done with that on a whole.
Me feeling ill at ease meant that it was practically impossible for me to be in a room with a lot of people. Meaning I didn’t manage more than half of the opening ceremony and 2 songs by Inkubus Sukkubus (mind you, I missed most thanks to François, but more about that later). I also didn’t get quite as many photos as usual, because I found it a lot harder to just approach strangers and ask for their photo than usual. So a massive thank you to my friends that were there that took the time to talk to me and hang out a little, which did help a lot, and made it easier for me to spend time with strangers for the rest of the day!
I don’t think anyone actually noticed me flailing internally, because I really did try to socialise and pretend I was ok. Whether or not I did a good job I don’t know. And trust me, the moments where I didn’t feel like fleeing I was having a good time!
Anyway, we got there at around 3.30, having gone to the Cinquantenaire Museum first to wander around in there and have lunch there.
We always say we’ll be there in time for the Coalescaremonium opening, but that never happens because we always get stuck in the museum.
Bert made sure to take my outfit shot
Hair flowers: craft flowers I got at Banier years ago
Vest: Cora Kemperman
Cardigan, longsleeve and top: Primark
Key necklace: vintage
Planchette necklace: Fiendies
Skirt: made it myself
Petticoat: Dear Celine
and day 25/100 days of make-up in 2017 shot before the event.
- Benefit, Goof Proof brow pencil in 03 - medium
- NYX, retractable eye liner in gold
- Belladonna's Cupboard, Moon Magick palette in Galactic and Lunar
- M.A.C, in extreme dimension lash mascara/work it out in muscle tee
- NYX, eye shadow base in skin tone
- Too Faced, Chocolate Bon Bons palette in Divinity, Satin Sheets and Molasses Chip
- Belladonna's Cupboard, Moon Magic palette in Eclipse, Galactic and Spectral
- M.A.C, extra dimension skin finish in Beaming Blush
- NYX, retractable eye liner in gold
- Too Faced, Hangover Primer
- Too Faced, Sweet Peach Glow highlighter
- Barry M, lip liner pencil in Plum
- NYX, extra creamy round lipstick in Bruised
- Too Faced, Melte Matte in Evil Twin
- Weleda, Everon lip balm
Which was clever thinking of his part, because it was quite warm that day and I left my jacket and woolen vest in the car before we joined the queue to get in. Because we had arrived so soon, we were parked pretty much right outside the venue :). Which is in walking distance (about 5 minutes) from the Cinquantenaire park and museum. It was a good thing that there was a big van parked right outside, pretty much in front of the door because it meant there was shade in the queue, huzzah!
I had decided against putting my backpack in the cloakroom this year for the sole reason that it meant I could easily switch between cameras if I had them on my back. My bag was also not heavy, so that was fine too.
We said hello to Val,
wandered around a bit, said hello to other people we knew, wandered some more, and split up to take photos, etc etc etc. Basically Bert and I wandered and took photos a lot, but he saw a lot more lives than I did (and complained about the light to take live photos in, as usual).
I basically only wanted to see Inkubus Sukkubus (and people I know and don’t get to see often enough), but made the crucial mistake to ask François for a photo.
Which he wanted to take in the park. I figured “sure, I’ll miss like 2 songs”. WRONG, oh boy, how was I wrong! SO VERY, VERY WRONG! I had totally forgotten that François is not only very vain (and good at making costumes), but he also will pose for a bazillion photos, and tried to drag me through the entire park. I would have left him there, but I promised Laurence I’d bring him back. And I am very responsible (which François teased me with, a lot, because I complained at him, a lot). It may sound like I don’t like François, which isn’t true at all as I like him fine, but I will bloody well call him out on his photo whoring goddammit! All in good nature, I assure you (but I don’t go outside of the venue ever again to take his photo, ever again!). It’s François, everyone that has met him, will know what I mean. (And will have felt the rising need for throttling him on occasion as well, of that I’m sure).
That aside, my nerves were pretty frayed by the time I got back and I didn’t manage more than 2 songs in the main concert room. So I went back outside, took some more photos, Bert joined me and randomness happened
when George was absolutely SURE he had met us before. And enlisted some of his friends, who we had never met so that didn’t help either.
In the end, George’s wife showed up, whom I did recognise and finally I was able to fill in the blanks of Gala Nocturna a few years when I bought my typewriter brooch at the Oh! Marisha stand. Which was entertaining, and earned a lot of “I told you so’s” from George, which was also funny.
By that time, my throat felt like it was on fire, and I figured I had over exerted my vocal chords again (which happens a lot if I have to speak a lot at events) and I was also super, super tired. So we sat down on a bench (huzzah for sitting down space) and then were joined by Marjan, a friend of hers and eventually Bérengère.
We waited for SiSeN to end his DJ set so I could interview him for the next edition of BCM (out early June).
After the interview, he went to see the fashion show and I did my best to localise friends to say goodbye, and was only very moderately successful. So to everyone I didn’t find to say goodbye, I’m really sorry, but I was utterly knackered and just HAD to go.
I ended up being half dead the entirety of Sunday and Monday I ended up seeing the doctor about my throat. Turns out that somehow (and I have no idea how it happened) I must have not only strained my vocal chords, but pulled most of the muscles in my throat. Go me…
I just hope it’s better again by Saturday, or I’m staying in.
For a less chaotic and brain badness filled actual REAL review of the event, click here for the event review on The Gatehouse. (Because I’m pretty sure no one wants to wait for the next issue of BCM to read it ^^).
If you read that review, you’ll notice that my issue was entirely with my own mind, and NOT with the event itself at all.
And the thing everyone is waiting for: some more pictures (kudos to you if you stuck this out to the end!).
And all the rest of my pictures are here.
Bert took some amazing live photos which are here.
Just an FIY, if you see a photo of yourself that you'd like THIS (and only THIS) is how you go about getting your hands on it ;).
Well, it’s to say, the rest for now. Because I’m still waiting on two 120mm rolls of analog film to come back to me, so make sure to check back next week (Thursday or later should be fine) to see those also! :)